Monthly Archives: January 2008

a breakfast incident

something happened at breakfast this morning that hasn’t happened in a long time. Zander threw up.

this used to be a regular occurrence. so regular, that it was daily for a while. just the hint of texture in his food would send him gagging, and he would eventually throw up his entire meal. Zander would be crying from fright, i would be crying from sheer frustration, sadness, and fear that my little boy would never grow because he couldn’t/wouldn’t eat.

this morning was a bit different. sure, he gagged at some texture and ended up losing his breakfast. but it was because we have finally been able to move him off of the pureed-to-nothingness jarred baby food fruit to normal pureed fruit cups. you know…the kind that you and i might eat as a snack. not only are they so much cheaper, they also offer the same (if not better) nutritional value of the baby food with a bit more texture. and he’s been really good at eating it, as long as we are spoon-feeding him. i think there’s a comfort thing there, and we (as well as his Psychologist) are okay with the spoon feeding thing…’cause he’s eating! i guess the texture was just a bit much for him this morning.
so when he started gagging, i calmly told him it was okay. when he threw up, i still kept my calm (i’m amazed at myself for that!) and told him it was alright. he didn’t cry, probably because i didn’t cry. the only thing he was worried about was getting the puke off him, and i don’t blame him.

whether because of my meds for my ppd, the twice-a-month meetings with Zander’s Psychologist (who has been amazingly supportive and reassuring), or because of the progress he’s made, i was able to handle this morning’s breakfast incident with out trauma to myself or my son. looking back, i realize how much progress we have made in these past few months.

this time last year, Zander would only drink milk…no solid food whatsoever. the simple action of bringing a spoonful of pureed fruit or veggies would send him gagging and throwing up what little bit of milk was in his tiny tummy. he was almost 2 years old and a mere 20 pounds…the same weight he was just after he turned a year old.

when his iron deficiency was diagnosed, we had to resort to force feeding. i would sit on the couch with Zander on my lap and pry his mouth open while hubby would spoonfeed him a concoction of pureed fruits or veggies spiked with iron-fortified cereals. he would sputter and gag. we had to hold his mouth closed so he didn’t spit it out, and i would rock him and sing to him to keep him calm until he swallowed each spoonful. i cried with almost every meal. i felt nauseous before every meal, not knowing what horror lay ahead of us this time.

looking back, it is easy to see how far he’s come. instead of force feeding, screaming, gagging and vomiting, our meals have become much more relaxed. sure, it’s still difficult to get him to eat. he’s not eating much whole food…most of it’s still pureed. but i honestly can’t remember when the last time he gagged and threw up was. he has more energy. he’s happier and less cranky. he’s gained weight (he’s up to 29 pounds y’all!). we can count on him eating something at each meal, which used to seem like an unattainable goal.

i’m so proud of my boy, and what he’s struggle through to get where he is now. after dealing with this eating disorder for over 2 years, i still can’t imagine what it’s like for him. can you imagine being scared of food, one of the very things you need to survive? i can’t fathom what that must be like, and that’s probably a good thing.

but he’s slowly but steadily overcome his fear more and more. on top of his purees, he can now eat small chunks of cheese and toast. he’ll eat pizza, french fries and potato chips…not super nutritious, but it’s the texture that counts right now. he’s even started to eat pieces of whole banana! i never thought i would see the day….

i’m beaming with pride for my 2.5 year old little boy…one of the bravest and strongest little men i know!


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Wordless Wednesday – it was a bit windy last week

a bit windy last week

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a milestone of the stinky kind

last night when dinner was done, Zander told us he had to “go pee pee on da toilet!”. this has actually, to our happy surprise, become a regular occurrence over the last few days.

some of you (those who followed me over from my first blog) may remember that we attempted to get Zander into the whole potty thing. he thought it was pretty neat at first, peeing in it a few times and enjoying the accolades he received when he did his thing. then the novelty wore off, and he didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

fast forward 7 months. on Friday afternoon we asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty and pee. he said yes (which surprised me since i’ve been asking him every once in a while for the past few months and the answer was always no), so we asked if he wanted to sit on the big toilet or the potty. big-boy-wannabe that he is, he wanted to sit on the toilet with his Diego toilet seat.

so off hubby and Zander go to the bathroom while i played with Logan. to be honest, i wasn’t expecting anything. in the past the only thing he has done on the toilet is waste play with the toilet paper. suddenly i hear hubby cheering, so i race to the bathroom to see big smiles on both their faces. Zander, brimming with pride, said “a peed on da toilet, mummy!”. even though he had peed on the potty before, this was different. i could tell he really understood what he had done this time…i could see it in his face and hear it in his voice.

later, after dinner, he said he had to pee on the potty, so we put him on the potty and within 30 seconds he peed. just like that. and Saturday morning, as soon as we got him out of bed, he said he had to go pee on the toilet, and he did. this has been going on since Friday. he knows he has to pee, he asks to go on the toilet or potty, and he goes. not every time, of course. the kid is so busy in Zander-world most of the day that it will take a while for him to use the potty full-time, but this is definitely an excellent start!.

what happened yesterday, however, was completely unexpected. he was sitting on the potty in front of the TV (don’t judge ;-)) after dinner. he had already had a little pee, but i knew a bigger one was coming, so i asked him to sit on it a little while longer. then he turned to look at me and said “a pooped mummy”…so matter of fact, like this was an everyday occurrence. i checked, and sure enough my son had pooped for the first time in the potty.

i have heard so many horror stories from friends and family about trying to get kids to poop on the toilet or the potty. my cousin’s daughter was so scared to do it, and later they found out that she thought her “insides” were falling out…how awful! i was just expecting….i don’t know what i was expecting, but i didn’t expecting him just to poop!

anyway, i’m realistic enough to know that he might not want to poop on the potty again for a while. but the fact that there was no trauma or anything gives me hope that it won’t be too hard.

plus he didn’t pick his poop out of the potty to show me…that’s a bonus, right?

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