Monthly Archives: December 2007

you know your toddler watches too much Thomas when…

seriously, my kids watch too much TV. way too much. i was one of those first-time moms that didn’t let their baby watch any TV. i had read the research linking ADD and ADHD to early TV watching. we got all the Baby Einstein videos as gifts, but Zander didn’t watch them. he actually didn’t watch one second of TV until he was 8 months old. and even then, it was limited.

then came Logan. a preemie. with health problems. and special needs. Zander was a curious, newly-walking 13-month old at the time. ya, that no-TV-watching thing went right down the toilet. i freely admit that i used the TV to distract and entertain Zander while i was taking care of Logan…not that i’m proud of it.

the end result….both of them are now addicted to that stupid box. i confess, it is nice at times to get some time to myself. but i always end up feeling guilty that they are watching TV instead of having play-time with mommy…unfortunately, i need some me time some times, and that need doesn’t always correspond with their naptime.

so in an effort to to find the humour in this horrible addiction (that their mother is also afflicted with), here is a list i have compiled. (i should give credit where credit is due…Zander basically wrote the whole list…i just typed it out!)

you know your toddler watches too much Thomas and Friends when…

  1. he walks around saying “bother” and “bust ma buffers!” when something goes wrong (we’re just waiting for him to add “cinders and ashes!” to his repertoire)
  2. he re-enacts episodes with his train track, getting frustrated that he can’t get the track to look the same or have Thomas hang perilously from the end of a collapsed bridge (he’ll have part of the track hanging off the edge of the table, and expects Thomas to just sit there on the track at a 60 degree angle, but Thomas just slides off the plastic track and falls to the floor)
  3. he asks where daddy is, mommy says he’s at work, and he nods and replies “yup…daddy work at a coal plant!” (seriously!)
  4. he uses his mommy as a bridge when she is lying on her tummy on the couch, crawling back and forth on her back pretending he is Thomas…and then says “mommy makin’ a creaking sound!” (from the episode where the bridge collapsed…the bridge made a creaking sound)
  5. he is watching Thomas and Friends and one of the engines has an accident because of their freight cars and he turns around, shakes his head and says “trouble-a trucks!” (translation – troublesome trucks)
  6. he declares his cheese “dirty”, and you tell him that it’s just crumbs from his toast, to which he suggests “cheese be’er go to da wash down!”
  7. he asks if we can get his Thomas train a “night cap” for when he goes to sleep..like the Thomas on TV has
  8. he sees a picture in a book of someone who is mad, he says they are “cross”
  9. he hears daddy coming down the stairs and mommy says “who’s coming?”, he replies “Skarloey!”
  10. he’s play with his Thomas engine and track, and he says to himself “oh…a be’er change da points!”
  11. he can recognize all the engines in his colouring books, even though their are artist renditions and there are no colours to help him distinguish them…sometimes it’s just their faces
  12. you draw him a train and when you are done he looks up at you and asks “where i’ da coal tender?”
  13. your reading him one of his Thomas books, and you point to a blue engine and say “oh look, there’s Edward”, to which he replies “no mommy! dat Gordon!” with a tone of disgust and a look of utter disappointment
  14. he names each bite of food after the engines on the show before he will eat them
  15. he is watching Thomas and Friends and one of the connect-the-dots segments comes on…and he tells you which engine it is before they even start connecting the damn dots
  16. you say “Thomas” and he says “he da cheeky one!” (from the theme song)
  17. we’re out and about and mommy says “we’re going to go home now” and he replies “to Tidmouth Sheds!”
  18. he asks you to help him build a track, and you ask him what he wants, to which he replies “i need fwee bwanch lines!” (translation – three branch lines)
  19. he will bring his Thomas engine over to you and proceed to point out “this i’ da tall funnel, da dome, da whistle, da cab, da drive wheels, da coal tender, da buffers,……”
  20. he can name every. frickin’. engine. and their numbers. even the ones i don’t remember ever seeing.
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Filed under confessions, the monkey called Zander, welcome to the monkey house

Zander’s Secret

Zander recently picked up the word secret from watching an episode of Backyardigans…i think. anyway, he’s been using it as often as he can, even though he doesn’t exactly know what it means yet. which, of course, makes it that much more entertaining.

the other night we were sitting at the dinner table. Zander was done eating what was on his plate and, as usual, had dragged his chair over to sit beside daddy.

Zander: daddy! i ha’ a secret!

hubby: you have a secret? wow!

Zander: ya! Zan’er ha’ a secret!

hubby: what’s your secret, Zander?

suddenly hubby’s face twists into a look of horror.

Zander: poop!

sure enough, Zander’s diaper was full of….his secret. i was laughing my head off…of course, i wasn’t close enough to smell this secret of Zander’s…unlike my poor hubby.

*****

yesterday morning, Zander was sitting beside me on the couch. all of a sudden he jumped up to stand on the couch and stared down at me.

Zander: mommy! i ha’ a secret!

me: you do? what is it?

Zander: a secret mommy! Zan’er ha’ a secret!

me: wow, Zander! can you tell mommy what your secret is?

Zander: a snowball….WATCH OUT!

then he flopped down on the couch and rolled around laughing. silly monkey.

later that morning, i was in the kitchen playing on the floor with Logan. Zander ran in all upset.

Zander: mommy….i ha’ a poop in a diaper…and i’ not a secret!

man, this kid makes me laugh.

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Filed under funny ha ha, the monkey called Zander, welcome to the monkey house