Monthly Archives: September 2007

100 things you never knew you wanted to know about me

i’ve finally reached 100 posts…not without a few bumps along the way. so, in honour of this important milestone, here is a list of 100 useless facts about me…i’m sure you will be riveted! note: i’ve sprinkled the more interesting tid bits throughout…so you have to read them all to get to the good stuff! mwa ha ha ha!

  1. i am a stay-at-home mom
  2. i used to work in IT for the Federal Government of Canada
  3. i hated my job with a passion
  4. i am the worst worrier on the planet…i worry about anything and everything
  5. the above mentioned fact has turned me into a bit of a helicopter mom
  6. my eyes are blue
  7. i am 5 feet 10 inches tall
  8. i am the shortest member of my immediate family
  9. i turned 33 years old in June
  10. i’ve only ever broken one bone in my body…my middle toe on my right foot when i was 10
  11. that broken toe didn’t heal straight, and it now curls to the left
  12. my full first name is Cathryn
  13. i lived on a farm for 20 years, until i moved to Ottawa for University
  14. i grew up in a small town 1.5 hours East of Toronto
  15. when i moved away from my hometown in 1994, it had a population of approximately 4000
  16. Friday the 13th tends to be a lucky day for me
  17. i love horror movies
  18. my fave numbers are 3 and 13
  19. my fave colour is purple
  20. i love fancy words….there’s nothing like the proper use of a really good, fancy word
  21. i make up words….a lot…if i can’t find the perfect word, i just make one up to suit my needs
  22. i love to sing…i’m not saying i’m a good singer, i’m just saying i love to sing
  23. i have a sad addiction to reality shows…there…i’ve admitted it!
  24. i drink way to much Coke…it’s unhealthy really…
  25. i lost all of my hair due to Alopecia. it all fell out in a matter of 4 months
  26. i’ve been bald for 12 years
  27. i have never worn a wig
  28. when i go out in public i wear “skull caps” that my mom crochets for me
  29. i have an affinity for fruit wine
  30. i have an affinity for chocolate liqueurs….mmmm….Godiva liqueur…
  31. i’ve been with my husband for almost 10 years
  32. i watch Young & the Restless every single day…what can i say, i live vicariously!
  33. i have arachnophobia
  34. i am allergic to sun….seriously…it’s called PMLE (Polymorphic Light Eruption)
  35. my form of PMLE is severe, meaning i burn everytime my skin is in contact with sunlight (even through windows without UV protection), and results in millions of tiny blisters within 30 seconds to 5 minutes of exposure, depending on the time of year and strength of the sun
  36. i am also allergic to cold…again, i’m being serious! it’s called Cold Urticaria
  37. my form of Cold Urticaria makes me windpipe swell, making it difficult for me to breathe
  38. i don’t go outside much in the winter!
  39. i love pizza so much i could eat it every day
  40. i speak french…i’m not fluent by any means, but i can get by…
  41. both of my parents are from Denmark
  42. because my parents used Danish to speak in “code” in front of my brother and i, i don’t know as much Danish as i would like
  43. i gained 70 pounds when i was pregnant with Zander
  44. i gained 6 pounds with Logan….seriously….i was pretty sick…
  45. i still have most of my pregnancy weight hanging around…
  46. i hate going shopping for clothes…i would rather be at Home Depot or Best Buy or shopping for furniture or appliances
  47. i was born on the same day as my dad
  48. my brother was born the day before my first birthday
  49. my two sons are 13 months apart in age
  50. i use Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers on my boys…love them…
  51. i love to paint….walls that is…i love to change the colours in my house
  52. i am allergic to nickel, which means i can’t wear most jewelry
  53. i’m a bit of a freak of nature…of course, you already knew that!
  54. i recycle diligently
  55. i can arch both of my eyebrows separately. i arch one, then the other…back and forth and back and forth…it makes me look like an evil mastermind, and it freaks out some of my friend…i love it!
  56. i have an extra vertebrae in my spine….like i said, freak of nature….
  57. i am addicted to papercrafting
  58. i love anything velour…it’s just so soft!
  59. i love all music…except country
  60. when i listen to music in the car (when the boys aren’t with me), i love it loud
  61. i hate it when people don’t use their signal lights when they’re driving
  62. i’m not as tidy as my hubby would like me to be
  63. i can eat more in one sitting than should be humanly possible
  64. we still use monitors for both boys’ rooms, and when i got to bed i crank them up high enough that i can hear them breathing…it helps me sleep better
  65. i hate hearing my voice on recordings…it sounds so deep and manly
  66. i love video games
  67. i like to go through model homes, even when i’m not planning on buying
  68. my hubby and i met at school
  69. hubby and i never had a honeymoon…we decided to save the money (we wanted to go to Italy) and start a family instead
  70. i am too long for an average bath tub, which makes it difficult for Calgon to take me away!
  71. i am a shade taller than my hubby
  72. i love to cook, but i hate cleaning up after
  73. i love to read…nothing like curling up in bed after a long day with a good book
  74. i’ve always wanted to know how to play the piano
  75. i can’t draw to save my life…even my stick figure renditions are all wonky
  76. when i had hair, it was blonde
  77. i have to draw my eyebrows and eyelashes on everyday…i hate it
  78. i have a clock fetish…i love the look of clocks…i have a lot of clocks
  79. one of my pet peeves is bad grammar…unless it’s done on purpose for comic effect, of course! not to say my grammar is perfect…
  80. i have a ridiculous amount of useless music, TV and movie trivia stored away in my shiny bald noggin
  81. one of my eyes doesn’t open as wide as the other
  82. my knees make a crunching sound when i walk up and down the stairs…it’s pretty disconcerting (an example of one of my fancy words from #20)
  83. i hate Barney, the purple dinosaur
  84. i know the lyrics to every Backyardigans song ever written
  85. i watch really really ultra-bad movies just to make fun of them…something i started doing with my cousin Crystal when we were in highschool
  86. i talk to my mom everyday if possible…sometimes more than once a day
  87. i love playing boardgames
  88. i’m lucky enough to love my in-laws
  89. i miss my brother…i wish we lived closer to each other
  90. hair freaks me out…seriously! ever since i lost my hair, i can’t stand coming in contact with hair (from any body part!) that is no longer firmly attached to it’s owner…gives me the heebie-jeebies!
  91. most of my dreams involve me being a superhero
  92. my toenails are always painted varying shades of purple year round
  93. the smell of manure doesn’t bother me…it reminds me of home…odd, no?
  94. i like to use obscure TV and movie quotes in every day conversation…throws people off
  95. i like leather furniture…it’s easy to clean with all the spills and toddler mishaps
  96. when i’m at home, i where comfy clothes…pajama pants, over-sized t-shirts, fleece sweaters
  97. i watch way to much TV
  98. my cousin Crystal is like the sister i never had….so we call each other cousin-sisters
  99. i write my blog on a Mac iBook laptop while sitting on my couch
  100. i never knew how much i enjoyed writing until i started this blog

there you have it….100 completely useless facts…pretty boring, no?

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Filed under confessions, me me me

a bloody lesson

well folks…he did it again. the monkey called Logan went against my wishes (what a shocker…) and got up on the couch again and took yet another one of my beverages off that damn table…again. before we could stop him, he had fallen backwards onto the couch again…this time the glass hit him in the mouth, and some how he bit a chunk out of his upper lip…and the blood flowed freely…

so he bled and he bled and he screamed and he screamed…and he didn’t learn anything because he was doing it again not 15 minutes later…

tenacious doesn’t even describe him…i think i’m gonna check myself into a nice cozy room at the Royal Ottawa for a nice little vacation. (for those of you who don’t live in my fair city, the Royal Ottawa is the local mental health hospital…so that cozy room i’ll be checking into ….ya, it’ll be padded!)

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Filed under the boys, the monkey called Logan

the good, the bad and the ugly

ever since i saw Sara’s post at Suburban Oblivion, i’ve wanted to do something similar…well, this afternoon the perfect fodder made itself available to me….

the good: Logan finally picked up a cup and tried to drink out of it all by himself…and almost succeeded!

the bad: it was my glass of coke that he had taken from the table next to the couch….sound familiar?

the oh so very ugly: his surprise at being caught made him jump up and laugh (that’s right….laugh!), which caused him to fall backwards onto the couch…with glass of coke still in his chubby little hands. as he fell, the coke splashed out of the glass and all over his face, shirt, pants and the couch. thought it’s easy to change Logan’s clothes, it’s not so easy to clean up coke that has gone into every gap between the non-removable couch seat cushions…thank God the couch is leather! i grabbed the only thing close by…a box of wipes. i wiped as much coke as possible off the couch, ripped Logan’s clothes off and used a wipe to “wash” the stickiness from his hair. as i tried to get all the coke sopped up using the dry parts of Logan’s shirt and pants, the little bugger kept trying to get back on the couch! since the cushions were wet from the butt wipes, he kept slipping off, whcih turned into a giant screaming tantrum. after finally getting the boys down for their nap, i continued my quest to de-goop the couch…alas, i have failed. my comfy pants are sticking to the cushion, and every time i moved, the backrest cushions make this velcro sound because they are sticking to the seat cushions. great!

so here i sit, stuck to my lovely leather couch with a blinding split-my-head-open headache….and i’m all out of coke….

oh….it’s going to be a long day….

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Filed under funny ha ha, the boys, the monkey called Logan

i’m not a bad mother…really i’m not

i’m not liking myself very much right now.

i yelled at Logan in a way i didn’t like…in a voice i didn’t like. and it scared him.

you have to understand, Logan is…well…he’s an asshole. now, before anyone jumps down my throat, i would like to defend myself. you see, Logan suffers from what i like to call Post-GERD Syndrome, or the even-more-popular Post-GERD Asshole Syndrome (P-GAS for short).

Allow me to school you on P-GAS. When a baby suffers from GERD, he/she requires much more attention than the average infant. In Logan’s case, he had to be held 90% of the day, always in an upright position. feeding had to be done in a specific way. his schedule was very specific due to his different medications. as a GERD baby (or GERDling) continues to grow, he/she becomes used to this attention…demands this attention. Enter the P-GAS era.

So, though Logan’s GERD is under control with all of his meds, he now suffers from a very severe case of P-GAS. That’s right, folks…he’s not just an asshole…he’s a major asshole.

Logan is spoiled beyond belief. granted the first 9 months of his life were not easy for the little guy. but now he believes he is entitled to everything, and if he does not get what he wants, or what he wants is taken away, it is a major affront…an offense of massive proportions. and thus begins the retaliation, which entails screaming, kicking, punching, hitting, screaming, throwing of large objects, pounding of fists into the floor/couch/parent and screaming. did i mention the screaming?

i’m sure that sounds like your average toddler tantrum to you…but it’s not. i know toddler tantrums….i’ve seen many from my oldest son, and many from the kids of friends and family. this doesn’t even compare. i’ve spoken to many parents of GERDlings in my online support group, as well as good friends of ours who have a recovered GERDling of their own. P-GAS is all too common, and very much different from average toddler behaviour. (please note that, in writing this, i am not trying to scare the parents of GERDlings. on the contrary…consider this a warning, so that they may be prepared for the asshole to come…so that they may have the chance to nip the asshole-transformation in the bud…a chance that we never had. with increased awareness, we can stop the tragedy that is P-GAS.)

our current battle involves the couch…which he’s learned to climb…with no thought for his own safety, or the safety of others. he uses the couch as a means to gain access to the large framed painting hanging over said couch, the adjacent bookcase and side table. he has tried to climb the bookcase on multiple occasions. as for the side table…which is the only place we can have the baby monitors, phone, and any snacks or beverages. and his assholeness won’t leave any of it alone! when you say no to him, he smiles at you as if to say “seriously….what are you gonna do about it?” and continues on his merry mission of destruction. ya…the kid’s the mayor of shit-town.

and now we are back to the beginning. i feel shitty. it’s impossible to keep your cool with a P-GASling running around causing havoc. so i lost my temper and yelled at him. and it scared the shit out of him. and i felt guilty. of course he’s forgotten all about it!

little asshole….he’s lucky he’s so cute!

Logan’s cute face

important note: the first commenter, Carlos…who is in fact my hubby and daddy to the asshole in question, mentioned something called “Angry-Drunk-Complex”. this refers to the pain-induced frantic flailing that would overtake Logan everytime he ate during the first 6 months of his life…resulting in my daily nose-bleeds, bloody lips and black eyes. henceforth, he was known as the “angry drunk”.

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Filed under funny ha ha, the monkey called Logan

Haiku Friday: an ode to my monkey boys

i have written two
poems for Haiku Friday
there’s one for each boy

ode to Logan

note: this might make more sense if you read my post from yesterday

Logan, sweet Logan
you are my big baby boy
just fifteen months old

at times you can cause
pain in my posterior
you monkey boy you

and now i know why
you’ve been a bigger asshole
than per usual

when i snuck a peak
i saw molars popping up
in your little mouth

and it’s no wonder
why you’re acting so crazy
the pain must be bad

but no matter what
i say or i do, Logan
please know i love you

always remember
when i call you an asshole
i do it for sanity

always remember
when i call you an asshole
i do it with love

ode to Zander

oh Zander my boy
you’re my oldest monkey boy
at twenty-eight months

you’ve been through so much
over the past eighteen months
you’re such a strong boy

not wanting to eat
you seemed so scared of your food
it didn’t make sense

it was so scary
so slowly wasting away
my skinny Zander

and now it does seem
that we have hit a crossroads
something is changing

you’ve begun to eat
food you’ve never had before
amazing to watch

and so the treatment
and the counseling we’ve had
seems to be working

i finally see
a faint light at the end of
a long long tunnel

Zander, sweet Zander
seeing you begin to thrive
brings tears to my eyes

always remember
no matter how hard it’s been
my love never fails

always remember
no matter how long it takes
i’ll be by your side

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Filed under funny ha ha, Haiku Friday, the boys, the monkey called Logan, the monkey called Zander

they see progress

we went to the Children’s Hospital to meet with Zander’s Occupational Therapist and Psychologist…and it went pretty well.

we brought both boys, since we couldn’t get anyone to watch Logan. we were told to bring their lunches, so that Zander could be observed eating. we made sure to bring his new favourite veggie, corn, to see if he would show them his latest bit of progress.

the adults talked as the boys ate. the OT and Psychologist kept writing notes as they observed. they were impressed with Zander trying corn on his own, and they liked the way he used his knife and fork to eat. they were wowed by Logan, who just shovelled whatever was in front of him into his mouth. it was said that he looks “healthy”…uh…did you mean to say huge???

so…the OT thinks that, with his iron drops starting to help, we are finally on the right path. that’s not to say there isn’t a long, bumpy road ahead of us. but we’re finally heading in the right direction. she is going to be checking in on him to see his progress.

the Psychologist is going to meet with us again in two weeks. Zander is having some anxiety issues that she wants to address, as well as some exaggerated emotional responses. so we are going to meet with her in a big room with a bunch of toys, and talk with her while we watch the boys play together….hmmm…almost sounds like a play-date but without the other kids!

anyway, it’s nice to hear the professionals tell us they see progress. finally.

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the joy of corn

it was a busy day, so we ended up throwing together something quick for dinner…breaded fish sticks, baked beans, kernel corn and a fresh-baked whole wheat baguette (okay…before you get the idea that i’m some kinda martha stewart nut, it was one of those frozen baguettes that you throw in the oven for 15 minutes…who has time to bake fresh bread???). nothing fancy.as usual, we put a little of everything on each of the boys’ plates. as usual, Logan had no trouble scarfing down whatever was fed to him. and, as usual, Zander just pushed around the food on his plate, and used some of his many distractionary tactics to buy him some time so that he didn’t have to eat.

and then it happened. Zander picked up a kernel of corn….and he put it in his mouth. Carlos and i froze, knowing from experience that if we said anything…even praise…he would get spooked and spit it out.

we watched eagerly…anxiously…our breaths caught in our throats.

he chewed….then he swallowed…”dat good!” he said with a smile. and he kept going, too…kernel after kernel, he happily ate corn. from his plate…from his daddy’s plate. hubby and i smiled at each other…what an amazing bit of progress. he’s never eaten kernel corn before, only pureed corn.

that’s when it hit me like a slap in the face…the realization that my son…my 2 years, 4 months and 13 day old little boy had never experienced something so simple as eating a kernel of corn.

cue the tears.

but they were tears of joy. this is the biggest improvement in Zander’s eating disorder that we’ve seen since starting both his therapy and his iron drops.

so here i sit…it’s the end of the day…and instead feeling helpless, hopeless and dejected like i usually do, my spirits are high…even if just for tonight. ’cause my boy done ate him some corn!

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Filed under me me me, the monkey called Zander